Parks & Gardens

Greener Grass: 10 People You Meet At The Park

 

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Parks. They're a blessing. In a metropolitan like Delhi, they're even more. Being one of the world's most polluted cities on the planet, parks are what keeps this city alive. Surprisingly, parks have also added so many trees to the city that Delhi is also one of the greenest cities in the world. And by green, I mean forest cover. Besides filtering the air of the city, the parks also give the residents of the city a space to go for a walk or a run or whatever it is that the people like to do in parks. Dogs. Yes, also a space to walk their dogs. Anyway, here are a few types of people that you will probably meet in your average park in Delhi NCR.

1.Facebook Profile Picture:

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By this, I mean that certain species that are always at parks doing personal photo shoots. I figure this is for the exclusive use on social media. To get that perfect profile picture for their Facebook, so that more people will "like" them. Or maybe they're planning to upload it on Shaadi.com hoping to catch a beautiful bride or groom. Some even go so far as to carry a change of clothes and even some props. Guitars seem to be the in thing. Also the lean on the wall with a leg bent at the knee, casually looking into the distance. That's a popular pose. 40% of the time, it works all the time.

2.Sporty Folk:

They're always pumped. And they're the gardener's worst fears. Most parks don't allow sports to be played in the park for fear of getting all the plants damaged but we Delhi people don't really care about authority. We're rebels. These people often opt for sports like Cricket, Football and Badminton (street version, as in no net or borders). Strangely enough, I once saw two people attempt to play Tennis (grass court of course). Sadly, they couldn't get even past the first set before giving up. They're a group of mismatched people, don't really care about rules of the game and have to do with makeshift goal posts, wickets and boundaries. Fun to watch though. Especially when they're getting chased by the gardeners.

3.Rocky Balboa

Well, not really him, as he is a fictitious character, but you do see a few that like to train with nature. And by train, I mean in boxing. They bring minimal gear of course though, at times, some enthusiasts even carry a full fledged boxing bag and find a tree to hang it from. You also see people practice other martial arts like Karate and Kick Boxing every once in a while. Funny thing is every time I see them, I hear the theme of Rocky movie series play in my mind. I've been watching way too many movies. Though life would be more fun with background music.

4.Kuttay Ki Aulad

 

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That translates to dog's child. A puppy. You see them as well. They're often the highlight of my park trips. Dog owners take their dogs for walks, all the while making sure that they poop everywhere possible so the rest of us have to be wary of their bio-organic landmines. Unlike the first world nations, dog owners don't have to clean up after their pets so … yeah. That's about it. But seriously, who in the world keeps a Husky in this heat.

5.The Feeder

This refers to those special ones that come to the park, just to care for the strays that no one cares about. They're the best lot. Can often be found surrounded by all of the park dogs, distributing food in an efficient manner. I wish they'd feed me too. Kidding. They do feed me.

6.Eye Of The Tiger

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That's the theme song of this lot. They're the ones who come to the park to get into better shape. Quick-Dry Tees with shorts. Running Shoes on their feet. Music blasting in their ears. They run with the determination of a boxer who has to make an epic comeback after having his ass handed to him at a title match. Again, a Rocky reference. This lot also has a vast variety. There are the newbies who can barely jog a minute before retreating to a walk, while the pros who run around like they're perpetually on Red Bull.

7.Aunty Squad

 

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That's what they are. They're your neighbourhood aunties. They come more for the gossip than the exercise though. Usually found in groups of 4-5, they wear their standard kurta but running shoes on their feet. The move in terribly slow speeds and are known to block traffic on jogging paths.

8.Romeo Squad

Again, that's what they are. Well, they're not a bunch of Romeos, seeing as Romeo was, in fact, a romantic dude from a well-to-do family who just happened to fall in love with the rival family's beautiful daughter. They're more of a group of single men who come to stare at passersby and gawk at women. As useful as mosquitoes, they're annoying and can often be seen harassing the stray dogs and in worst case scenarios catcalling women. These lot need to be castrated so as to ensure that they never procreate. They also need a slap. On the face. With a bus.

9.Chuma Chuma Dey Dey

That's this groups moto. Well, they're not really a group, as that would be weird. They come in pairs because this section constitutes couples. They're the park-level Romeo-Juliet stuff. Often found displaying way too much PDA in various different postures, this lot seems to have chosen parks as the last resort to not having their own private space. The lightweights usually just sit on a bench holding hands with an occasional peck on the lips, while the heavyweights find a bush or a shady spot to do more than what is appropriate. But who are we to judge? Well, actually, we should, since that level of PDA is illegal, I guess? They'd make great brand ambassadors for Durex, though.

10.Photography Peeps

 

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They're the ones with the DSLRs and the works. They often carry multiple lenses in their backpacks and at times, a tripod as well. Depending on how pro they are, their gear ranges from the entry level cameras to the ones that look like Bazookas. Bazooka. Haven't used that word in a while. Anyhow, some come for the love of Nature photography (see a lot of those in Deer Park, next to Hauz Khas) while others come for photo shoots (wedding photography seems to be all the craze and they seem to like trees in the background).

End Note:

This is yet again, a satire piece and all those of you who feel offended, do let us know in the comments below. We will write personalised apologies to each one of you. The ones who enjoyed this, do let us know if you wish to add to this list. We're always looking for humour in our mundane city life.

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